because you light up my life
Do you ever want to strangle your spouse? I’ve been married almost 7 years and before that I wanted to be married very badly. It wasn’t until I was 35 that I said ‘I do’.
My husband just asked what I was doing and said, “I’m not sure if you should be blogging about me while drinking wine.” The other day, while I was eating part of his snack, I told him that when we entered the marriage covenant, two became one and therefore his food is also mine. While we may disagree on some things, we’re pretty compatible.
But I’ve found that compatibility isn’t the most important thing. When it gets to the tough times, a strong determination to work things out and the ability to realize your own faults adding to the conflict - goes a long way.
One evening last week I was upset with him and felt hurt by a couple things that had happened that night. We talked about it and came to a resolution. Sometimes my thoughts fixate on the injustice, decide that he doesn’t really care for me, and dwell in a frustrating, negative cloud. I forget how he does love me, wants to work things out, shows up time and time again, and has shown me in many ways how he cares.
I was talking with someone who said she decided to focus on only encouraging her husband instead of getting on to him about what he did wrong or didn’t do. She said in turn he has actually improved. I can understand that, when people tell me what I’m doing wrong, I usually don’t feel close to them and can get discouraged. But encouragement is empowering. It flips a switch on in a person and the light in them shines brighter.
So even though my husband and I had worked things out, the next morning I was feeling a little grumpy when I woke up and usually I’m a pretty cheerful morning person. It was 6:17am and I looked over at the bookshelf by my bed. The sun was shining through the window, between the blinds and curtains, in just the right way that it formed a bright halo over our wedding picture and a warm glow around it. By the time I got my phone situated to take a photo, it had already started to move a little. Some may think this was a coincidence but had I woken up any later, or not put that picture there when I was redecorating the shelf (it’s not finished being decorated yet :)), or had it been cloudy that day, or had we not shut the blinds… I wouldn’t of seen that sign. God confirming the holiness of our marriage covenant. God telling me to let it go, forgive, roll over and hug my husband.
“Alone in the dark, but now you’ve come along/ and you light up my life/ You give me hope to carry on/ You light up my days” - Debby Boone
